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My husband passed away in November 2005 at the age of 34 [...]

Posted by Alisa @alisa4, Sep 13, 2016

My husband passed away in November 2005 at the age of 34 from squamous cell carcinoma, he had tongue cancer. What annoyed me more than anything is that his dentist excused a tumor (it looked like an ulcer) on his tongue, not one time but twice. We then heard from a local ENT that he also had a patient with tongue cancer and she got it cut out and is leading a mostly, normal life. When the ENT went in for surgery, he couldnt continue and said it had spread and was beyond his expertise and sent us to U of P, with supposedly the best surgeon there. That was the year from hell. It started with a huge reconstructive surgery where they cut out almost half of Greg's tongue and reconstructed it with an artery from his leg. He had over 30 lymph nodes taken from his neck which never healed properly and the smell from it being infected was worse than anything I ever remember. Post surgery took forever to heal and he had to do radiation and chemo after he healed. He also had a trach put in for a month or so after surgery and a feeding tube in his stomach because it would be hard to eat for a while...or basically for the rest of his short life. He lived 9 months after his surgery. There are times I kick myself hard for allowing the doctors to cut him to pieces. A few other I have heard of, opted not to have surgery and they did radiation which seemed to shrink the tumor. Although, they might have discomfort and some difficulty swallowing, they are still alive today. Please know all your options. Ask around and see what others have done before you. I needed to tell my story and vent. I know people are scared and I'll say a prayer for all of you. God bless.

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rubette4u | @pati | Sep 15, 2016
In reply to @pati "I went though 29 radiation and chemo on the last cancer the one they couldn't find..." + (show)
@pati

I went though 29 radiation and chemo on the last cancer the one they couldn't find .Good so far .I went to N.C Duke cancer center.Ilive in VA 4 hours away for both they are great.I had tongue cancer before this last one.I tell you I have never had pain like that they cut out a piece of my tongue and reconstructed it.Killed all my nerves and taste buds.Every 4 months the pain comes back and hurts just as much as when they cut it out.I deal with itbut there is so much pain I try anything to help it but I am alive and happy for every day I have.The tumor they can't find the said they could not have any more radition they gave me the strongest they had.They could give me chemo if it comes back.I decided that I will not do chemo.I would rather pass away than let them put that poison in me and still die.

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Thank you very much.I am a strong person even in pain but my worse pain was my children dieing and I made it though that. I can do anything.If I die from this I will see them again.So I thought I had a choose to be with them or live and be healthy so I didn't stress over it .I felt I would be blessed either way.Stress will kill you and think that help me through it.

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rubette4u | @pati | Sep 15, 2016
In reply to @widow2soon "Same thing for me my sweety wanted to try berry thing he was a fighter. I..." + (show)
@widow2soon

Same thing for me my sweety wanted to try berry thing he was a fighter. I couldn't tell him no even though I felt it was a waste of time and the suffering was horrible

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The pain I still go through will be the rest of my life but at 67 I am not scared to die losing my kids was the hardest thing I ever went thogh they were 18 and 24 this has been a breeze compared to that but the pain is very bad..I choose to live a little longer.I have had a good life and don't regret anything I have done in the past that is just living every day is a blessing if I don't wake up it is okay. I have aplan if I start to be sick and that's my life .I do believe in doing what I want to do it is my choose how I want to go it is no bodies business how I go.

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rubette4u | @pati | Sep 15, 2016
In reply to @widow2soon "Same thing for me my sweety wanted to try berry thing he was a fighter. I..." + (show)
@widow2soon

Same thing for me my sweety wanted to try berry thing he was a fighter. I couldn't tell him no even though I felt it was a waste of time and the suffering was horrible

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I am sorry you lost him but you know h loved you and thats a blessing and I am tired of the surgery and all the other things too..I want to go peacefully .And by my way;At 67 I did a lot growing up maybe to much .People say I should write a book so I don't have a bucket list I have traveled every where and did things people never heard of so I feel blessed.When it is my time I have no chose . I will be ready. God bless you it is a waste .No more for me either.

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rubette4u | @pati | Sep 15, 2016
In reply to @pati "I am sorry I had that to with surgery I know the pain he went through.He..." + (show)
@pati

I am sorry I had that to with surgery I know the pain he went through.He had to be strong to deal with the pain.Now I have a tumor behind my tongue they can't find. You must be a very strong women and am praying for you to heal. I had to boys die at 18 and 24 I questioned why for years and there is no answer.I stopped questioning my cancers too.I just try to be positive not stress and take care of myself. I want you remember that you will never get over it but with time you can heal as long as you talk about him he was here.talk about good memeries.You will find people don't want hear it thinks it hurts you but he was in your live and always will be.don't cry just laugh at all the crazy things you did together.It really works I still talk about my boys with pride.Never forget he wants you happy and misses you too and you had his love and not many people have someone to be there for you.he was blessed. I am single at age 67 and no family they have passed on.I hope this helped if not sorry I put my 2 cents in.

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WILL NOT DO ANY MORE.They can't find it is in so it is me to decied the way I want go.

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Widow2soon | @widow2soon | Sep 16, 2016

I'm getting better ever day. Soon as I get my back problem fixed I'm going to travel some it's just that old artherits. I wish they would find a cure instead of cutting and radiating people to bits. I'll pray for u. Sometimes I get excited knowing I will see my loved ones again.

REPLY
Widow2soon | @widow2soon | Sep 16, 2016
In reply to @pati "I went though 29 radiation and chemo on the last cancer the one they couldn't find..." + (show)
@pati

I went though 29 radiation and chemo on the last cancer the one they couldn't find .Good so far .I went to N.C Duke cancer center.Ilive in VA 4 hours away for both they are great.I had tongue cancer before this last one.I tell you I have never had pain like that they cut out a piece of my tongue and reconstructed it.Killed all my nerves and taste buds.Every 4 months the pain comes back and hurts just as much as when they cut it out.I deal with itbut there is so much pain I try anything to help it but I am alive and happy for every day I have.The tumor they can't find the said they could not have any more radition they gave me the strongest they had.They could give me chemo if it comes back.I decided that I will not do chemo.I would rather pass away than let them put that poison in me and still die.

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You are strong to make that choice.knowing what I know I don't know that I would go through that. Nope

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rubette4u | @pati | Sep 16, 2016

I have it too. I have had 4 shot's still hurts.I am going to spend all my money traveling if somthing goes wrong with me.My kids have more money than me.It would be my luck they give me six months and I lived for 2 and be homeless(:

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